Our gift giving at Christmas is changing. We shop our attic and cabinets for treasures. Experiences are high on out list too! Plays, trips, special activities and local events areon the list for both our children and grandchildren.
Are there toys or clothes under tree? Maybe. The point is our thinking has changed about gift giving especially for our adult children.
Yes, we will continue to wrap our gifts and put them under the tree.
NO GIFT GUIDES for shopping
Have you noticed many bloggers have got guides posted?
I don’t have a gift shopping guide to post. Instead, I am sharing different options and why we have changed in our approach,
I do get lists from the grandkids’ parents and I ask Amy and Meg, our youngest and not married. If I see something that strikes my fancy for any of them I’ll buy.
change of heart
Over serveal years, we gave Jim’s mom’s Franciscan Apple Blossom dishes to Nancy. It wasn’t that we passed it along to her. It was that we gave them to her over a series of birthdays and Christmas that bothered me.
I thought we should buy a present.
I have changed my mind. Changed my heart about that!
CHANGES FOR US
Our season of life is changing. We are slimming down. In no way do we want to empty our home of what makes it our home but…
My son in law shared with me recently how his folks view giving gifts. They have started to give their 4 kids items that are meaningful.
They want to control in some measure who the inheritors will be. When they were downsizing to move, bigger items were ‘auctioned’ off to the kids. That money was donated to a family favorite church program. Great idea!
I’ve seen ugly and heard horror stories about fights over inheritances. If we can spare our children and grandchildren some of that, that’s what we want.
GIFTING BEGINS IN ERNEST
Last year, we gifted our Bavarian crystal champagne flutes to Will and Hailey for his birthday. She brought our family a new tradition from hers.
Mimosas were served this Thanksgiving morning in beautiful crystal flutes. I loved sipping from them this year in their home!
So I am asking myself, what will it be this year?
Experiences as an option
This year is different. Not only are we looking at some of our things to gift, we’re also on the hunt for experiences.
Maybe a Broadway play on tour. Maybe Broadway in NYC. Special art museum exhibits or tourist site. A local play. The symphony. National parks and historical sites. Memberships or season tickets. Movie and a special dinner together.
This day trip was part of Mary’s Christmas gift. We gave her a book that was set in NYC and the day trip. Read about that trip here. https://bushelandapickle.com/nyc-day-trip/
Endless possibilities!
A CHANGE OF heart and mind
So, I’ve changed my mind.
Gifting treasured belongings that Jim and I want to go to our children and grandchildren is good, good thing. Giving experiences are too.
Why the change of heart?
There are two fold reasons. It is out of the house and means if our circumstance change, there is way less to move!
The second? We get the joy of seeing our family enjoy these ‘gifts’!
Sure, we have started the process of boxing up the keepers and got to go items More on how we are doing that in a future post.
Then there are the particular items that are sentimental that we would like to be passed on to loved ones. Dishes, Mom’s mother’s water pitcher, silver, jewelry.
You get the idea.
There is a certain charm to this. As parents of a certain age, though we aren’t downsizing to a different home, we are however, trying to distribute select household belongings to the younger members of our family. Our kids appreciate this.
Recommendations
Our late fall birthday girls
Though there has been a flurry of articles about how our children don’t want our things, it’s not true of our family. Do they want everything? No, of course not.
Are there some things they want? Yes.
So, we will be wrapping up gifts from our home to give them this year. A certain piece of china. Maybe jewelry, beloved Christmas snowball.
A reminder. When we give a gift, it belongs to the them. They can do what the want with that gift and as parents, we need to let them.
Peace for Christmas
For Jim and I, this decision brings us peace. I don’t feel the stress that has often come with gift giving. Honestly, there isn’t much we can ‘buy’ our adult children. What they do like seems to be experiences, time and family ‘stuff’. It’s not always a memory filled treasure at all; it is just something we think they will enjoy in their home.
My hope is this post will help you out if you are in a similar season or offer some inspiration for gift ideas regardless of your age!
Above all I wish you peace.
I love your idea of giving experiences instead of things. We have too many things anyway and little room to place them. But we can accumulate as many experiences as we want, sicen they don’t take any space. Trips, concerts, and other treats make life more interesting. Thank you for sharing your ideas.
So glad you liked that idea. We are in the same spot. The little ones still get gifts though.
Martha, they were thrilled and enjoying looking at choices and planning!
There is so much good in this post. Love the ideas of auctioning off the presents for a good cause. Thank you for the inspiration.
Thanks Rachel! Adjusting to changes not just our age but also to our kids and grandkids’s situations makes life easier!